In Part 1, I detailed the day of a bullied student, the pain that stretched from getting up in the morning ’til lunch.
Now, let me show you the rest of the day.
After lunch, the torment escalates to a full blown brawl. In the bathroom, you’re physically attacked. You naturally, defend yourself, trying to protect your well-being and keep from being hurt. This is the umpteenth physical attack that you’ve had to defend yourself from this year, and you’re just getting tired.
Tired of having to fight just to get through what should be a normal school day! Tired of constantly ducking and dodging everyone! Tired of laying low! Tired of always being on guard! Tired of trying to grow eyes in the back of your head! Tired of being held hostage for eight long hours every day! Tired of being forced to adhere to the many double-standards that your classmates have held you to for so long…too long…
You aren’t just tired, you’re exhausted.
Your classmates have worn you down. They’ve trampled your dreams, your personhood, your confidence, your self-esteem…your rights to be yourself, and to be safe.
A teacher breaks up the scuffle. You and your attacker are escorted to the principal’s office. If you’re lucky, you and your attacker both are suspended from school. If you aren’t, your classmates will rush to the defense of your attacker and you will be the only one suspended
For defending yourself from being hurt and possibly killed.
Because you’re the others have been taking turns attacking you, you’re the one the school administrators always see fighting. So you’re the one labeled as a troublemaker and always the first to be blamed. Only the few more open-minded staff understand what you’re going through. But their hands always seem to be tied when it comes to helping you.
When you get home in the afternoon, in the privacy of your own bedroom, you cry. You scream. You beat your fists against your pillow, your bed, the wall, the door—anything to release all the pent-up fury that’s festering like a cancerous boil. You fly into a rage and destroy your own bedroom, turning the damn place upside down!
You’re not really beating the pillow, the bed, or whatever else. In your mind, it’s them. You want to do to them what they have done to you.
What you really want is to beat the living hell out of all of them.
And now it’s dinner. You sit at the table with your family. You struggle as you tell your mother for the hundredth time that you were in a fight at school and that you’re suspended for three days.
Your mother gives you the tongue lashing from hell: You’re trouble! She says. You need to change your attitude! If you weren’t so (insert bad quality here), then maybe you would have friends and nobody would mess with you. Even worse, you start to believe her. You think maybe all that’s been happening to you is your fault, that you bring it on yourself.
And sadly, you haven’t the slightest clue of what it is that you need to change. You can’t fix it because you don’t even know what’s broken. Your own sense of your own goodness and value as a person begins to wane.
She grounds you. Which hurts more because you have nothing to be grounded from—it’s not like you ever get invited to any slumber parties or football games or movies.
You’re desperate for a change. But you see no way out.
You have absolutely nowhere to turn and no one to turn to. Your suffering at school has now bled into your home. The one and only thing you feel you have going for you is that you aren’t dead…then you begin to think that maybe death wouldn’t be such a bad thing—no one would be able to hurt you again. So you start to think of ways to die, and before long, death becomes an obsession. Your life is one big curse, you tell yourself, and there’s one way to end that curse and want so badly to end that curse.
Now you must choose: Keep living in hell, or take the one escape?
This is every day when you’re the target of bullying.
If you’re living this, please know that, regardless of how hopeless your situation may seem, there is hope. Better times will find you and you will emerge victorious. I believe God rewards those who suffer the most—in this lifetime. You are worth fighting for even if no one else thinks so. Keep going! Keep pushing! Keep fighting! Keep living! Your reward and your victory are coming!
Cherie White, both a writer and author, joined the team after being discovered by Brian through her own personal blog and through social media. She has been writing ever since she was ten years old and has a love for writing articles, short stories and novels. She became intrigued with the new Pyngby app because it helps victims pinpoint victims and their harassers for easy protection and litigation if need be. Because she experienced severe bullying from sixth grade until changing schools during her last year of high school, she has a passion for spreading bullying awareness and helping those who are bullied and abused today. Her goal is to bring down the suicide rate among bullied children, teens and young adults. Her debut novel, “From Victim to Victor” is available now at LuLu. Cherie looks forward to helping victims through Watchdog Creative.
If you want to subscribe to new posts or our newsletter, please submit the form below.