The targets of bullying often face confusion…the confusion of whether or not they are being oversensitive or actually being bullied.
Oftentimes, when the bullied defend themselves, others trivialize what they experienced or outright dismiss it. They tell the victim, “It’s only in your mind” or “You’re just being paranoid.” The bully, then, is let off the hook and is free to target the same individual again in the future. And the bully gets one message loud and clear: it’s okay to target this person simply because you CAN, with no repercussions.
After a long time being dismissed, the victim begins to feel as if it is somehow wrong to report the bullying or stand up to the bully. The victim may then start to question his or her own sanity, suspecting, Maybe it really is only in my mind after being told so often that his or her experience isn’t as he or she thinks. In this situation, the victim often grows silent for fear of being called “paranoid,” “crazy,” “overly sensitive,” or other labels that undermine his or her sense of what’s real.
If you’re in this situation, let me tell you one thing: It’s not your imagination. You are not being overly-sensitive, and you are not a wimp, wuss, crybaby or whatever else people may call you.
Always remember that bullies are often very skilled and convincing liars. You know when something does not feel right. You can see it in the way certain people cut their eyes at you and talk through their teeth. You can hear the short, cold tone in their voices. You can feel, deep down in your gut, the nasty vibes they exude. This is why you should always listen to your gut feeling—it’s never wrong.
Eighty-six those people, pronto! Anyone who makes you feel bad does not deserve your friendship, regardless of whether he or she is rich, smart, good looking, popular, successful, cool or tough. The people who causes you to feel like less than who you are—Weed them out! Never allow anyone to violate your boundaries, whether physical or psychological.
Self-awareness is key. Get to know yourself, and get to know absolutely what you will—and will not—accept. Only then will you be able to tell the difference and send your bullies packing.
Cherie White, both a writer and author, joined the team after being discovered by Brian through her own personal blog and through social media. She has been writing ever since she was ten years old and has a love for writing articles, short stories and novels. She became intrigued with the new Pyngby app because it helps victims pinpoint victims and their harassers for easy protection and litigation if need be. Because she experienced severe bullying from sixth grade until changing schools during her last year of high school, she has a passion for spreading bullying awareness and helping those who are bullied and abused today. Her goal is to bring down the suicide rate among bullied children, teens and young adults. Her debut novel, “From Victim to Victor” is available now at LuLu. Cherie looks forward to helping victims through Watchdog Creative.
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