One situation almost no one talks about—and is too often ignored—is female bullying against a male victim. Adding insult to that injury, society almost always gives male victims of such bullying a bum rap.
I cannot count the stories I’ve both read and been told about males being harassed and abused by vicious females…boys and young men, who, under normal circumstances, are kind and caring…who take the high road and walk away from the abuse instead of fighting back…who are mocked by those who know of the harassment and call him “wimp” or “wuss” or worse…who are told when they try to report the bullying to just “man up” or “stop whining.”
When his female tormentors push him so far that he can’t take any more…when having been bullied for so long, the pressure builds to a breaking point and he finally strikes back to defend himself—perhaps hitting the girl back after she’s hit him first for the umpteenth time—he gets the blame.
Simply because he’s male.
The girl knows well that society protects females due to the still widely-held belief that they are the weaker sex, and she uses that belief to her own advantage by playing the “woman card.” Feigning victimhood, with crocodile tears and rationalizations she projects the blame onto her victim following the strategies of the Three B’s of Bullying, spinning a convincing story to deceive those in authority while demonizing her victim and avoiding responsibility.
Although the poor victim is actually a good-natured guy, to bystanders and the authorities involved, he is just another out-of-control male, a sexist who physically abuses females for whom he has no respect. He can then end up suspended or expelled from school or even arrested and charged as a criminal.
All while his female bully looks on with a smirk. She escapes punishment and goes on to select yet another male victim. And the cycle continues.
Some of you reading this aren’t convinced. You’re saying to yourselves, “If the male didn’t hit her back, he wouldn’t have gotten in trouble. All he has to do is restrain her to protect himself.”
But even then, he’d end up in trouble. Simply laying hands on the bully is enough to trigger all the same action against him as hitting her. You read that correctly: If someone physically attacks you and you restrain that person, you can STILL go to jail as if you threw the first punch—because your hands were touching the person and it’s impossible to restrain anyone without touching them. So even then, the male ends up bearing the brunt of the blame while being simultaneously marginalized by the system that should be there to protect him.
This is just a sad example of how completely backwards school rules and the laws can sometimes be.
So what other recourse does a victim have after having tried everything to protect himself and make the harassment stop?
Currently, very little.
Yes, there are male bullies, and male abusers of both female and male victims. But my purpose here today is to open a few eyes. Boys DO get bullied by girls…and more and more men DO get bullied by women. I believe this is because females are more prone to violence today than ever before in history. Women are not always the weaker sex. I’m a woman myself, and I know firsthand that when it comes to bullying and harassment, woman and girls can be the meanest, the most relentless, and the most vicious.
And when faced with such a bully, male victims get a bum rap. It’s time that we wise up. We need to listen to males when they tell us about harassment, and take a hard look at the females they tell us are bullying them. This is the only way to reduce the chances of other innocent men and boys becoming victims in the future.
Cherie White, both a writer and author, joined the team after being discovered by Brian through her own personal blog and through social media. She has been writing ever since she was ten years old and has a love for writing articles, short stories and novels. She became intrigued with the new Pyngby app because it helps victims pinpoint victims and their harassers for easy protection and litigation if need be. Because she experienced severe bullying from sixth grade until changing schools during her last year of high school, she has a passion for spreading bullying awareness and helping those who are bullied and abused today. Her goal is to bring down the suicide rate among bullied children, teens and young adults. Her debut novel, “From Victim to Victor” is available now at LuLu. Cherie looks forward to helping victims through Watchdog Creative.
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