Why Bystanders Don’t Stand Up for Victims of Bullying

Why Bystanders Don’t Stand Up for Victims of Bullying

As we know, bullies need an audience when they bully their victims. Any time bystanders are near, the bully’s ego is fueled and the victim is made to suffer humiliation. Bullies need bystanders to demonstrate their perceived power and might in front of in order to feel good about themselves. They also need these onlookers to bait the victim and then use the victim’s reaction as evidence that the victim is, in fact, just a less than desirable person.

So why are bystanders prone to leave victims defenseless? There are several reasons:

  1. The bystanders are afraid of angering the bullies. The bystanders are afraid that if they speak in the victim’s behalf, the bully is likely see it as an affront and target them, in retaliation for daring to aid the victim—“the enemy.”
  2. “The enemy of my enemy is my friend.” Bystanders sometimes believe the rumors and lies perpetuated by the bully about the victim, So they may consider the victim as the one at fault and an enemy who must be kept in place by the bully’s actions.
  3. Bystanders think that the victim is somehow at fault and deserves what’s happening to them.

As bystanders, we must always protect those who are at the pointy end of the bully’s spear. Any time a rumor or lie is spread about a victim, we must think critically and question it. In reality, most victims of bullying are exceptional people, with hearts of gold and meek or sweet dispositions. But because of the relentless grind of bullying, their reputations have been blackened so their bullies can continue the torment them freely and with impunity.




About the Author

Cherie White

Cherie White, both a writer and author, joined the team after being discovered by Brian through her own personal blog and through social media. She has been writing ever since she was ten years old and has a love for writing articles, short stories and novels. She became intrigued with the new Pyngby app because it helps victims pinpoint victims and their harassers for easy protection and litigation if need be. Because she experienced severe bullying from sixth grade until changing schools during her last year of high school, she has a passion for spreading bullying awareness and helping those who are bullied and abused today. Her goal is to bring down the suicide rate among bullied children, teens and young adults. Her debut novel, “From Victim to Victor” is available now at LuLu. Cherie looks forward to helping victims through Watchdog Creative.

2 Comments

  • By Pia Briccocola Reply

    Thanks for the article. I was bullied by my ex-husbands friends who formed a gang to punish me when I broke up with him. Everything I did was ridiculed publicly and every attempt was made to make me look foolish and blacken my reputation. I ended up with no friends and my son had to leave school because of the harassment. The whole neighborhood pretty much got roped in by them to try and force me out of my home and my income was cut right down to almost nothing. We are barely surviving though my ex is now dead. The other psychos won’t leave us alone. The police are on their side and can’t do a thing. I am relying on God to stop them because I know they will block me off every time I make any move. I believe in me so I am not giving up as yet.

  • Cherie White
    By Cherie White Reply

    Pia,
    I’m so sorry that you are enduring such vicious harassment! Judging from your comment, I can tell that you are a strong, resilient and awesome person and you are true to yourself and to your own heart. I admire that because I’m not sure how I would hold up in a situation like yours. I love that you aren’t backing down and that you know who you are and are determined not to let them bring you down. However, in the event that you do get exhausted from all the drama, as it will wear you down at some point…this kind of harassment would wear anyone down, know that if you do decide to move away, you’re still an awesome person because you are taking care of you and yours. Keep loving yourself and those who mean the most to you. Spend time with people who have your best at heart and lift you up. Gather as many happy moments as humanly possible because you deserve it. Anytime you need to talk, I’m here.

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