For those who don’t know, for me, the last six years of school were Hell on Earth—as they are for so many children and teens today. Each time I hear on the news about a young person who has committed suicide because of bullying, it breaks my heart because I know all too well the intense and unbearable pain he or she went through.
It’s a feeling of captivity, of being held hostage by your classmates for the eight long hours of the school day; it’s the paralyzing fear that washes over you every morning as you watch the school bus rumble closer and closer; it’s the crushing feeling of your reputation unjustly ruined; it’s the horrible names; it’s the brutal beatings; it’s your cries for help going ignored by those in authority—or worse, you being blamed for it all; it’s you desperately clutching to your dignity with everything you have in you even as your classmates to destroy what little happiness you do manage to scrounge for yourself. Each taunt, each dig, each attack, cuts a little deeper each time.
It’s a pain so intense you can’t even cry.
Yes! I’ve been there. And it’s a torment only the few who’ve lived it comprehend.
Because no one listened when I pleaded for help or just needed to talk, I turned to keeping a daily journal. I wrote down everything I suffered at school in detail.
It was the only thing I could do to get it out.
I remember the day when a nosy classmate found one of my journals. She wasted no time reading it and then passing it around to others! I suffered one heck of a reprisal when I was beat up on the way home on the bus for what I’d written! Another time, a teacher caught me with my journal and then handed it to the principal. He scanned the little red notebook, shot me a very dirty look, then walked out of the classroom, flipping through it as he scanned the pages.
That was the last time I ever saw that journal. However, I made sure to keep a copy of everything in a separate notebook at home, and I didn’t lose any valuable information.
Yes, I did a mountain of writing back then.
Besides the relief from just expressing all of it in writing, there were other reasons for journaling as well. Ffor one, gathering evidence in the awful event someone should hurt me badly enough to send me to the hospital—or worse!
I journaled all through the last five hellish years of school, then kept my notes carefully hidden away because I knew that, one day, I’d write a book and tell my story.
(Continued in Part 2)
Cherie White, both a writer and author, joined the team after being discovered by Brian through her own personal blog and through social media. She has been writing ever since she was ten years old and has a love for writing articles, short stories and novels. She became intrigued with the new Pyngby app because it helps victims pinpoint victims and their harassers for easy protection and litigation if need be. Because she experienced severe bullying from sixth grade until changing schools during her last year of high school, she has a passion for spreading bullying awareness and helping those who are bullied and abused today. Her goal is to bring down the suicide rate among bullied children, teens and young adults. Her debut novel, “From Victim to Victor” is available now at LuLu. Cherie looks forward to helping victims through Watchdog Creative.
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