One component of domestic violence that most victims experience is the ongoing questioning of the validity of their abuse. In my own experience, I remember countless times when I went to friends and asked, “Was I really abused? Are you sure I’m not making this up?” And, being my friends, they would remind me of the countless stories of what I’d lived through. They would remind of the emails and texts. They would remind me of the words spoken and incidents. Then I would pause and remember.
How could I forget what happened to me?
Questioning one’s own experience is quite common among those who have suffered abuse. After spending years in a relationship being told you’re mistaken, that your memories are incorrect or your experience of situations is wrong — or simply that you are the problem — most women are left with no alternative other than to push aside their concerns, put away their doubts about their relationship, and keeping going.
As a Licensed Professional Counselor, I sit with many women just like myself — women who question the validity of their experiences because of the disarming and crazy-making nature of abuse.
How much easier would it be if there was a witness? If there was someone completely impartial who could validate an experience? Someone who could confirm a story and substantiate memories of abuse, with specifics of the things said and done? Someone who could verify all the things quickly pushed from memory?
This is where I wish Pyngby was around years ago. This is why I recommend it now. The Pyngby app is your witness when you need it. It records conversations, phone calls, texts, photos, and stores them in a secure place so that, when you’re need to, you can go to and confirm your worst memories. For those times when you are questioning the validity of your abuse, for those times when you blame yourself for the demise of your relationship, for those times when recalling these abusive and wrong memories are needed for legal matters. You have your witness that can recall the evidence you need to help you heal, become empowered, and move on.
If you know someone whose situation ins making them doubt their own memory, how have you helped them? Please share this information wit them, and let us know how you’ve helped in the comments section!