Never attempt to change yourself to appease a bully.
If you’re a target of bullying, always remember this: no matter what you do, good or bad, it will never be right by a bully. Even if you were to save someone’s life, it still would not be good enough for your bullies and they will find some way—any way—to ridicule and dismiss it.
Any good that you do, any accomplishments you make, any successes that you have will be minimized. Any mistakes and bad qualities will be emphasized. I want you, as a tween or teen, to realize that this is how bullies operate. They trivialize all the positive about you and magnify the negative.
This is how bullies work. In my book From Victim to Victor, I explain it from my own experience:
“…if I had hung around people of my own race, I would be hanging with ‘skanks’, for lack of a better term, and would have been considered one myself. If I befriended those of the African American race, I was considered an n-lover. If I dated a grown man (which I did), I was considered an opportunist or gold-digger. If I had dated a guy of my own age group, they would have conjured up something else negative to say. If I wore a dress and went to school all dolled up (which I did often in high school), I was trying to either impress the opposite sex or get a date and/or laid. If I wore my jeans the slightest bit tight, I looked like a whore. If I cried, I was being too sensitive. If I laughed, I was trying to get attention. If I got angry, I was crazy. If I was being friendly, I was either flirting or trying to kiss ass. I was not allowed to be myself and it was exhausting….”
The last thing a bully wants is to see you happy or successful and he or she will pull out all the stops to either minimize—or better, destroy—the accomplishments and happiness that you enjoy.
Please know that, as painful as it is, the problem lies with the bullies. You did nothing wrong—that’s why you should avoid these toxic people. They leach your success and happiness, spoiling it for you because to make themselves feel bigger, tearing others down is easier than building themselves up. You owe it to yourself to shove them out of your life old when possible and stay your true, awesome self.
You—and your happiness—are worth fighting for!
Cherie White, both a writer and author, joined the team after being discovered by Brian through her own personal blog and through social media. She has been writing ever since she was ten years old and has a love for writing articles, short stories and novels. She became intrigued with the new Pyngby app because it helps victims pinpoint victims and their harassers for easy protection and litigation if need be. Because she experienced severe bullying from sixth grade until changing schools during her last year of high school, she has a passion for spreading bullying awareness and helping those who are bullied and abused today. Her goal is to bring down the suicide rate among bullied children, teens and young adults. Her debut novel, “From Victim to Victor” is available now at LuLu. Cherie looks forward to helping victims through Watchdog Creative.
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