(Part 1 of 2)
We all know males and females are different, not just in their bodies but in their minds, the ways they interact, and the ways they form relationships. So, it should be no surprise that these male/female differences even extend to bullying.
In my opinion, female bullies are often the most vicious because they’re better at going undetected than male bullies. There was a time when most female bullies more passive-aggressive and committed much of their bullying on a psychological level. Today, however, encouraged by modern politics and pop culture, physical assaults perpetrated by females are increasing at an alarming rate.
In general, though, females bully by Dividing and Conquering —attacking the target’s relationships, using smear campaigns and witch hunts designed to turn everyone against the target to isolate the target.
Bullies have flaws and their greatest fear is having them exposed. They often try to hide their own imperfections one of two ways:
Girls also resort to psychological warfare, which includes (but is in no way limited to) exclusion, dirty looks, taunts, insults, rumors and lies, thievery, invasion of the target’s privacy, and destruction of the target’s property and relationships.
If all of this doesn’t work, the female bully may resort to violence (increasingly common in today’s girls, sadly). If not doing the deed herself, in a uniquely feminine way, the female bully is likely to persuade someone else—either a male friend or a bigger and tougher female friend—to catch the target alone somewhere and perform the physical attack for her, often offering either illicit sex (male henchman), or inclusion into her clique and the chance to climb up the social ladder (female hanger-on) as incentives. Or if she’s just well-heeled, she may simply offer money.
Nurturers by nature, females are hardwired toward maintaining relationships, whether familial, friendship, or romantic. So one of the female bully’s weapons against a female target is sabotaging the target’s relationships. Most girls and young women, from the time they are small, dream of one day finding a husband and having children. So it’s no surprise any surprise that female bullies are notorious trying to sabotage that dream by calling their targets names like floosy, tramp, slut, or whore—names that attack the victim’s virtue and, by extension, her marriageability and her worthiness of a family of her own and their love. A female bully, then, wants to brainwash her target, her vicious and repetitive attacks meant to convince the target she is worthless.
And the bully will stop at nothing to make her—or at least everybody around her—believe it!
A bully like that knows that if she can make you believe the lies, she can also make you live into them. We are what we believe. She knows that if she can break your spirit, she can make you prove her right. So get this straight: Female bullies WANT you to live up to the names they call you—If they call you a whore, they want you to BE one.
If you want to defeat your bully, don’t live up to her taunts! She won’t just roll over for you, however. More than boys, girls can hang on to their hatred, particularly of another girl, to the point of obsession. So when you stand up to a bully, it’s a commitment—don’t expect things to get better soon. But I promise, they will eventually get better.
Cherie White, both a writer and author, joined the team after being discovered by Brian through her own personal blog and through social media. She has been writing ever since she was ten years old and has a love for writing articles, short stories and novels. She became intrigued with the new Pyngby app because it helps victims pinpoint victims and their harassers for easy protection and litigation if need be. Because she experienced severe bullying from sixth grade until changing schools during her last year of high school, she has a passion for spreading bullying awareness and helping those who are bullied and abused today. Her goal is to bring down the suicide rate among bullied children, teens and young adults. Her debut novel, “From Victim to Victor” is available now at LuLu. Cherie looks forward to helping victims through Watchdog Creative.
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