Males and Females Don’t Bully the Same, Part 2: Brute Force

Males and Females Don’t Bully the Same, Part 2: Brute Force

In Part 1 of this article, I discussed how male and female bullies differ in how they bully, and the ways female bullies work to oppress their targets, While female bullies attack their targets’ relationships, most male bullies use plain physical aggression. And not only do males bully physically, they also bully more frequently than the females do. Between the open, overt way they bully and the fact they do it more frequently, they don’t fly under the radar the way the female bullies do—meaning they are more often caught. A small comfort to the target, I know…

The objective of bullying for both sexes is status. As I mentioned in Part 1, the female bully attacks her target to make herself appear higher status by pushing down those around her or projecting her own flaws onto them. And they do it in sneaky, manipulative ways. Male bullies also seek to build themselves up at their target’s expense. This can take the form of what most would consider “traditional” bullying—punching, kicking, ambushes in empty halls or swirlies in the men’s room—where they demonstrate physical domination over the target. Immature, this bullying through fights and threats of violence is the kind of behavior you see in groups of apes like chimpanzees and gorillas, where the male animal defines its status in the group by who it can best physically.

But human males have another way to show dominance: Because young men feel there is a societal expectation to be strong and tough…to display manhood, if the male bully’s target is another male, the boy not only uses his fists, but will also works to emasculate the target. Male bullies often call their targets names like, “sissy,” “wuss,” “tulip,” “bitch,” and other names that attack the poor target’s male pride and make him feel less like a man. And if the male target speaks out against the effort to strip him of his manhood, the bully trivializes it, referring to the target as a “whiner” or telling him to “toughen up” or “man up.” The male bully may also accuse his male victim of going against what is “man-code” if he dares to report the bullying, leaving him feeling trapped between the bullying and his own threatened self-pride.

I truly hope this helps you with any bullying you face. The more you know, the better you will be able to bully-proof yourself!

About the Author

Cherie White

Cherie White, both a writer and author, joined the team after being discovered by Brian through her own personal blog and through social media. She has been writing ever since she was ten years old and has a love for writing articles, short stories and novels. She became intrigued with the new Pyngby app because it helps victims pinpoint victims and their harassers for easy protection and litigation if need be. Because she experienced severe bullying from sixth grade until changing schools during her last year of high school, she has a passion for spreading bullying awareness and helping those who are bullied and abused today. Her goal is to bring down the suicide rate among bullied children, teens and young adults. Her debut novel, “From Victim to Victor” is available now at LuLu. Cherie looks forward to helping victims through Watchdog Creative.


  • By Sue Reply

    This is very true though even that is changing. Many females are physically aggressive just like their male counterparts and as society has changed, you are not only seeing girl on girl violence but also female on male violence. I think you have a couple of factors. One, with more females working out and societal roles changing there are times when the female is actually stronger than the male in some cases. Even when that is not the case, most males are raised to never raise a hand to a female and she often uses that to her advantage tormenting and even hitting the male knowing even if he is the one who takes the beating, society is likely to judge him over her and that is wrong. My take may be unique. I loathe domestic violence, bullying, etc of any kind and I realize either gender is capable of committing the act. No male should ever strike a female but no female should ever strike a male and anyone regardless of gender has a right to defend themselves within reason meaning if a girl keeps on hitting a boy, he has a right to try and defend himself whether society likes it or not. It does not make him a bad person or a “woman beater.”

  • Cherie White
    By Cherie White Reply

    Sue, you make some very awesome points and I totally agree with all of this. I’ve known men whom were raised “never to hit a female” and these men were abused by women who used it to their advantage. A few of these men grew tired of being pushed around and even grabbed the woman to restrain her from hitting him, only to get a charge and be put through a legal battle and misunderstood as a “woman beater” and my heart hurts for them! I will make it a point to address this in a future blog. Thank you so much for your input! Have a wonderful day!

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