Telling Victims to “Toughen Up” is a Cop-Out!

Telling Victims to “Toughen Up” is a Cop-Out!

There’s a widely held belief that bullying toughens kids up. I think it’s one of the biggest cop-outs I ever hear. So, you’re a parent, grandparent, teacher, or principal and a child comes to you to report being bullied or harassed. You listen, and you

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The Harassment of Brandy Vela: When Bullies Cross the Line

The Harassment of Brandy Vela: When Bullies Cross the Line

Brandy Vela, a beautiful eighteen-year-old senior at Texas City High School, passed away by her own hand several months ago after relentless cyber-bullying by internet trolls who tormented her online about her weight and spread rumors about her. Believe it or not, her tragic death

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The Excuses Bystanders and People in Authority Make for a Bully

The Excuses Bystanders and People in Authority Make for a Bully

As we all know, bullies are very practiced and convincing liars, and they have a talent for using charm to deceive bystanders and authority. Understand that this “charm” bullies often display is only a tool to help out up a smokescreen to cover their bad

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Bullying Can Make or Break You—Life’s Too Short to Let It Break You!

Bullying Can Make or Break You—Life’s Too Short to Let It Break You!

If you have been there, you know that being the object of bullies is a hell that only few can comprehend. If you aren’t careful, it can very easily turn you from a kind and caring human being, to one of two things: An angry,

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When Bullying is Referred to as “Darwinism,” “Natural Selection,” or “Survival of the Fittest”

When Bullying is Referred to as “Darwinism,” “Natural Selection,” or “Survival of the Fittest”

I cringe any time I hear people refer to bullying as “Darwinism,” “Natural Selection,” or “Survival of the Fittest” and he words that immediately flash to my mind are “cop out,” “trivializing,” and “excuses.” People who duck behind these rationalizations are implying: Bullying is completely normal

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Are Schools Really Concerned About Bullying?

Are Schools Really Concerned About Bullying?

Just the other day, I was talking with a friend of mine about bullying and the attitude of schools toward the problem. We all would like to think that schools are there for the children. That they always want to help when a child or

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Fight or Flight: In a Minefield, Neither is a Choice

Fight or Flight: In a Minefield, Neither is a Choice

Any time a person has been the object of relentless bullying over an extended period of time, that person is constantly in a state of high alert. Although useful in short, immediate circumstances, this hyper-vigilance can be unhealthy if the person remains in this state

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Why Teachers and School Officials Sometimes Ignore a Bullied Student’s Cries for Help

Why Teachers and School Officials Sometimes Ignore a Bullied Student’s Cries for Help

All too often, schools ignore reports of bullying, leaving the victim with no one to turn to for help. When I was in school and a victim of vicious harassment, my reports were dismissed by the staff at school and I felt helpless…I felt like a

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The Three B’s of Bullying: Baiting, Bashing and Blaming

The Three B’s of Bullying: Baiting, Bashing and Blaming

Today I want to discuss the process of bullying and how bullies make their targets look like the villains by using “The Three B’s.” First, a bully very meticulously and slyly BAITS their target by provoking the target for a reaction. If the target gives their tormentor an unwanted

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Message to Victims: Your Reputation Does NOT Equal Your Character!

Message to Victims: Your Reputation Does NOT Equal Your Character!

Character is who you truly are. Reputation is who others think you are. All too often, when a person is bullied, his/her reputation takes a big hit, due to the many ugly rumors and lies which are spread by their tormentors. Remember that bullying is

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